I want to believe

WD-40 has been making the rounds in email. It fixes almost anything and the main ingredient is fish oil. You can buy a 55 gallon drum for $731.25. That's cheap. Really cheap when you find out what it can do. If we each bought a gallon drum the economy would improve. I'm not sure how but it would. All slides at playgrounds and school yards could be spiffed up with a squirt. The kids would travel at the speed of sound and fly off into oblivion. Ya know, that's not a bad thing. Think of the laughter you would hear. I might even try it myself. I would try it myself. Sliding off into oblivion is a wonderful idea. It also lubricates prosthetic limbs. Is that problem in 2009? You reach around to flush the toilet and clack. Your hook closes on the handle and you are stuck until someone can bring in a can of the right stuff. You leg locks at the knee and that romantic marriage proposal won't be a moment to remember. Something important is it can remove all traces of duct tape. That will come in handy for kidnappers. No more leftover duct tape glue to trace back to you. Keeps pigeons off the balcony. They hate the smell. So do I. A little goes a long way. I don't plannng on polishing my car interior with it. Nor putting it on my bathroom mirrors or untangling jewelry with it. What if there are things that haven't been tried? A broken heart? Spray your chest with it and wait 24 hours. I'm tired of shaving my legs and armpits and having my eyebrows waxed. Next time I'm going to coat myself with WD-40 and see what happens. Suntan oil, sunburn healer, takes the place of LASEK surgery. These are things that weren't on the list of miracles it performed. It's time someone looked into the finer uses of this product. Say, did you have your teeth whitened? Nope, it's just WD-40. Face lift? Of course not. I make a paste each night and put it on my crow's feet and in the morning they are gone!
Depression! This would obviously be my personal favorite. Would I snort it? Take a tablespoon with my Wheaties. Use that little tube and stick it in my ear. I am excited. Very excited. If I could wake up everyday and look forward to everyday I would main line it if that's what it took.
I feel better already and there is a can in the cupboard. I've got to give it a try. Cross your fingers for me. I may be a brand new person next time we meet!!