This is the real me

I'm depressed. I want to crawl into a cave and have someone roll a rock in front of it. Just not be anymore. If you've never been depressed you will never get this. It will all seem so silly. I know people think that you can just get over it. Guess what, b-hole? Don't you think I would if I could? What part of this do you think is fun? The dragging yourself out of bed every morning fighting. "Come on. You have to get up. Betsy, Betsy, Betsy," I tell myself that almost everyday. And I cry. Not when I'm feeling good. Then I look forward to getting up. I had about thirty days of good brain weather. Everyday was sunny. I never even questioned getting out of bed. I wanted to get the day started. Wow. What a difference a day makes. Now I crawl from event to event. I'm getting two teeth pulled tomorrow. Big deal. Thursday is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving for what? Consider yourself the luckiest person on earth if you don't have to live with depression. You have no control over it. When it hits it takes you down like you've been run over by a steamroller. I find myself apologizing for being this way. Why do I do that? It's not like I chose this. I am sorry you have to deal with me. It's not fair that you never know what you are going to get when you walk through the door. I guess the good part is if you see me when I'm down and don't want to be around me leave - I don't want to be around you either.
The Rules are as follows:

The person didn't chose this
The person would change this in a second if they could
The person has probably tried every antidepressant under the sun
The person has done therapy multiple times
If you've never been depressed don't you dare pass judgement

There. Think I'll go cry.