Time

Time flies by whether you are having fun or not. It may slow down as you are getting a root canal but when you look back you think, "that was fast." I think of my dad and how time must have dragged for him. He wasn't one of the oldsters that zoomed off to Florida in the winter. Didn't walk at the Crossing daily. He was in bad shape and had he been a pet we would have humanely put him to sleep and he would have thanked us for it. It's been almost three months since he died. He pops into my head at least once a day. On Sunday it was breakfast from McDonald's day. He was happy when you would ask him what he wanted. The rest of the week was spent in doctor's waiting rooms or sitting in a chair watching TV. He hated both of those. Had my brother come over more often the tension and nastiness that came from dad would have dissipated. A cup of coffee. A muffin. Maybe that's just a little too optimistic. He was glad to see my sister. What was the difference? Why were we treated differently? I don't know what went on for four years. That was the time between Ed's birth and mine. Six years had passed by for my sister. Did I mention she was doing geometry in kindergarten? I have a much different view than they do. I spent time with them in there old age. They loved each other. Mom understood when dad was in pain. He could be very mean. She would tell me that when she would wake up in the morning she would lay in bed and listen for his breathing. She said, " I know we fight but what would I do without him?" He told me of how she would get in bed with him sometimes in the morning. It was just to be near him. To feel the warmth of someone she loved for 50 years. After she died he said that sometimes he would feel her lying next to him and he didn't want to wake up because she wouldn't be there. So for ten years time dragged by for him and all of a sudden it's over. They are together fighting about money and credit cards or maybe they are so glad to be together again there is no memory of what went on down here. It's the last one. I just know it. Enjoy your time here. Don't sweat the small stuff? Yes you should. Sometimes the small stuff is more important than the big stuff. One day you'll wake up and be 75 years old - if you are lucky. You'll wonder where the time went. I'm 52 and I do that now. How did my kids get to be 25, 27, and 29?? Where on earth did that time go? It was mostly fun so it flew by. I hope you are enjoying your time here. I'm going to try to make the most of it. Honest, I am. As long as they keep coming up with better depression medication I'm going to dance my way and have fun the rest of my life. The only problem with that is my time will fly.