November 3, 1956 or have a seat

Yes folks, it's just around the corner! Excitement exudes from my every pore. That's just gross. I really am excited about it. I am hoping for a new bike. It's part of my feeling the Zen in 2010 program. Every year Jan and I would have a slogan for it. It was part of our New Year's Eve festivities. What would this year be? Look great in '88. Look fine in '89. Of course we would laugh - but what if it had worked? Well it didn't and here comes the close of another year. Maybe next year will be different. I feel so much better. I'm happy and my responsibilities have decreased. Our credit card balances are visibly getting smaller. Robert is working. We have health insurance, Betsy, three beagles and one cat. That one cat may soon become two. Bing needs a brother. My biggest problem I have is learning to enjoy the now. It's hard. Really really hard. Having your chair pulled out from under you when you go to sit down becomes a way of life. It's worse when you pull it out yourself. It's what supposed to happen. It's your fate. Your destiny, Luke. I'm always looking back to see if that chair is there. Have a seat, Cheryl. Just kidding. The room fills embarrassing glances and audible sounds of pity. And then snap. The chair is there. It's big and comfy and feels good when I hit. I have to learn to accept that. I'm working on it. I am removing the negativity and replacing it with positives. Pretty soon I'll hear people saying, "there goes that Cheryl Brewer. She's always happy with a great outlook on life." Yeah right. Hey, hey you, get the hell out of my head you bastard. Leave me alone and let me be happy. If I have to I will physically remove you. I am going to win this fight. I am going to pull you out and beat you to a pulp. Boy, will that feel good!