Public service announcement

Apparently everyone knows this but me. I should know better. You know why??? Because it's the second time I've done it. Several years ago I ran into a mom of one of Steph's friends. She looked, dare I say it, PREGNANT. Seriously pregnant. The dress was one of those stretchy top things and then poofed out just under her boobs. I did it. I said, "Oh, I didn't know you were having a baby!" Of course she said she wasn't pregnant. So, what the hell do you do after saying that??? Do you apologize for saying you have an unusually large stomach and it gives the impression of pregnancy. Or do you just creep away and feel like dying a thousand deaths. I'll tell you. You just creep away and die a thousand deaths and feel that way for a few days before it leaves you. That's the problem. It does leave you and you forget, well I forget, that you never ask that question. So here I am on an elevator. I'm going to see my dad who is in the hospital. Three woman. Two with a baby seat and baby book. Another woman gets on. I asked them about the new baby. Just general talk. I turn to the lady that just got on and ask, "when is your baby due?" Guess what she said. Go on. Guess. Please. Just do it. That's right. She said, "I'm not pregnant." The air was sucked out of the elevator. It was completely silent except for me apologizing for thinking there was a baby in there. She got off at the next floor and the lady behind me said she thought it too. Oh but she was too smart to have that come out of her mouth.
My victim was small and had on a tight shirt AND she had a belly. She does bear some responsibilty. At least I tell myself that. I'm writing this for a reason. I want to stop someone else from making the same mistake I did, twice. Please listen to my warnings. Don't do drugs. Don't smoke. Don't drink and drive. Most importantly, don't ask anyone EVER if they are pregnant. Even if they tell you they are. Just keep silent. Simply nod.